Reflections on shared parental leave

Our first child was born two weeks before the Covid lockdown. As timing goes this could have been worse. After the standard two weeks paternity leave I was back at work for two weeks before I was furloughed for three months and we spent our days as a family doing everything together in our little bubble. We shared all the responsibilities of raising an infant together and I got to know the little person as she started to grow a personality. A short period of shared parental leave sometime between lockdowns was a great chance to continue to build our bond.

Wind the clock forward three and a half years and with a new employer here at Kent we were fortunate enough to have another healthy baby girl. Comparing the two experiences was very different. Two weeks of paternity leave following the birth flew by. From then on the rhythm of a forty hour week meant my interactions with my new daughter were limited mostly to bath times and resentfully dragging myself out of bed to comfort her in the wee hours of the morning. If she cried, only mum could comfort her and I felt like a bystander.

Shared parental leave was something we had discussed from before our second child was born. It was something that I was keen to do again and when I approached my line manager and team lead at Kent they were very supportive about it. I was able to take 10 weeks. We had an overlap when we were both on leave which we used to go on holiday and to retrain me into looking after an infant and a 4 year old simultaneously.

The highlight of the shared parental leave week became our weekly bike park trips. With a picnic in the boot we would travel to the new local bike park. Taking what must be its youngest user for far more giggle filled trips chasing the older one down the trails than any responsible parent should before returning to the top to go again. There were smiles all round.

Although, the real impact of this period of shared parental leave was how it changed the relationship between my younger daughter and I. She is now equally happy to get a cuddle from me as she is to get a cuddle from her mum and she is excited to see me. Maybe I don’t know her quite as well as the older daughter, thanks Covid, but without the chance to take shared parental leave my time with her would still be a time pressured hour in the mornings and evenings and we wouldn’t feel as close. I am immensely grateful for the opportunity to take this period of leave and my hope is that the relationships it has created with my daughters can be a strong foundation for the years to come.